Hey guys! I’m doing a giveaway! I’m giving away two free copies of my most recent book, “I Forgot How to Write When They Diagnosed Me.” All you have to do is tap the box to see if you win! 1 out of every 25 people who enter will win a copy until we reach 50 people, so you have two chances to win! Get on it!
Your eyebrows are the forests
of fantasy novels
lit by the faint blue glow
of the car radio.
Your eyelids are hills
in which I imagine Hobbits could live
without fear of Smaug,
orcs, or goblins.
If you were awake,
I would tell you that you are
more beautiful than any elf.
I would read to you Tolkien
till you dreamt of dwarvish adventures,
and I would tell you
that you are more
enrapturing to me
than words will ever be.
I could write a novel about
the curvature of your cheekbones
and the way your eyelashes fall
on to them when you’re stressed,
but you asked me not to write
about the things you tell me in confidence,
so it would just be a textbook
of blank pages held together by thread.
I have a resume I could hand you
if you wanted to read
a nonfiction text
on mediocre success,
but I doubt that would do much
for my chronic nerve pain and
I didn’t read the warning,
in fact, I kinda forgot it was there,
and I microwaved my head.
My brain exploded.
It’s still squeezing out my nose
and ear canals
three hours later.
I think I may have irradiated my eyeballs too.
I’m seeing things
like unicorns and rainbows
and warning signs.
In fact, I think I’m beginning to see sound.
I suppose I should’ve read
the instructions on the bottom of the coffee cup
and not singed my eyebrows
or given myself brain cancer
and superhero powers.
I suppose I should’ve paid attention.
Check out this awesome interview I did with Chelsei Crotteau! (The full version of the interview I shared earlier this week!)
Originally posted on As Told By Chelsei:
I sat down with my good friend Emily “Em” Ramser to discuss the release of her upcoming book, “I Forgot How to Write When They Diagnosed Me”, which will be released February 2015 from Weasel Press. We talked writing preferences, alien dolphins, and loss of nerve sensation.
As Told By Chelsei: Let’s start with the obvious. eBook versus physical. Why did you decide to go with publishing physical copies of your new book?
Emily Ramser: It’s like a dream since being a kid, when you’re a writer you want to hold [your book] in front of you and be ‘oh my gosh, this is my book, this is my work and I can hold it and see it and smell it. As weird as that sounds. We will be releasing eBook versions of it. Toast is coming out in a Kindle version soon and when I Forgot comes out…
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