The Future in the Tense Present

I’m trying to wonder
if in twenty years
will the idea of
getting high on heroin
and joining Scientology
still sound so appealing

But right now
all I can think about is
how fucking badly I want
some damn gummy bears

because colleges never seem to
serve decently edible food,
so my gut starts to devour itself
midway through the day.

Half the time,
I’d rather go dumpster diving
and swim in garbage, looking for
pizza crusts and orange peels
to suck on.

If I had gummy bears,
I think I’d line them up
across my dresser, back to back
without blindfolds
so they could watch each other die,
and then bite each of their heads
off.

I’d stack their bodies
amongst my vitamins,
so I could surprise
myself in the morning.

I can’t help but wonder, though,
if heroin would keep me
from absorbing the vitamin’s nutrients
or the gummy bear’s brains.

Then again,
my stomach is already struggling
with digesting supplements,
and I’m reading a Buzzfeed article
on 20 reasons I shouldn’t have children,
so maybe my drunk friend’s idea
isn’t so bad afterall.

 

April 9, 2014

Day 9 of NaPoWriMo

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