What It’s Like To Be a Hufflepuff

I opened the stall door
on a girl taking a piss

She threw a roll of toilet paper at my face
and shouted “Ten points to Gryffindor”

before running away,
pants around her ankles.

Now, I’m eating microwavable mac’n’cheese with mustard,
looking around every corner

for Gryffindor Girl to earn some more points
by banging Slytherin. Then again, I already saw,

Ravenclaw giving Slytherin head
in the second stall I opened.


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